Learning Curve

Lifting Fire is a bluntly honest autobiography that focuses on poverty in the United States. Readers are taken on a journey through periods of personal homelessness; to social work in African-American ghettos; to low-income teaching jobs in Eastern Europe and Asia; and survivalist isolation inside a ghost town of remote Wyoming – where the author confronts the nature of his poverty with a final, non-retractable, act of rage.

LOOP ONE: TRAMP   
Dowsing Rod
Scab
The Assembly Line
The Factory
Education I
Home
Women Studies (Oregon)

LOOP TWO:  BLACK LIKE ME
Roots
Ghetto Rat
The Food Loop
Gimme Shelter
Education II
Warriors and Pacifists
Indians and Arabs
The Dream Deferred

LOOP THREE:  FLIGHT
Freedom and the Leash
Education III
Hope
The Flood and the Arc
Indentured Arsonist

LOOP FOUR: GHOST TOWNS
Trailer Trash
Education IV
Boom or Bust
Burning My Father’s Flag
Lifting Fire
List of Historical Pseudonyms
Used Books (and Bad Influences)

I promptly became homeless once again after graduating from a women studies program. To no surprise nobody would hire me, so I lived in my car for the following months while hunting for work. This chapter explains the process of trying to put a roof over my head. It also explores the question: Am I white trash? (more…)

This chapter looks at punk rock, dead-end jobs, the difficulty of living on minimum wage, and why employers should never mess with the dignity of low-paid staff.  This chapter explores my teenage years, before a political identity had formed, and the reasons why I was once a strike breaker. (more…)

Fast food restaurants have become one of the true symbols of the United States. However, if you remove the grease from underneath your fingernails, you will see an even darker underside. Employees  flutter from one dead end job to another, because few of these eating establishments offer much of a future. The idea of being dedication to one’s company is dying quickly. There is also a demographic shift as more and more minority groups, single mothers, and unskilled workers apply for fast food jobs. (more…)

This chapter look at my time in a glass factory. It shows the the frustration of trying to make a production quota on a meaningless job while better qualified colleagues were getting laid-off just in time for Christmas. After slashing my wrists on a double-paned company window, I began my life as a traveler. (more…)

This chapter is about is about working a summer job in Wyoming. In a town that was saturated with wealth, few employees could afford housing in minimum wage. Therefore, I lived in a bunkhouse while saving money. In this environment, I seriously thought about attending university and accepted the risk of student loans. (more…)

This chapter looks at childhood and the cycle of violence. It explore my family background, my father’s gang membership, my mother’s fondness of gambling, and the question of us being White Trash. (more…)

This chapter looks at the politics of being a man in a women studies program at Oregon State University. Race, gender, and class are more complex than most theories can comprehend. People can be oppressed in some ways; while experiencing certain privileges at the same time. Radical feminists tend to blame patriarchy, and avoid all discussion about their own race or class priviledges. (more…)

This chapter explores the futility of temp work, the occupational evils of telemarketing, and the God-like power of debt collection agencies. In this chapter, I struggle to apply to government volunteer programs such  Peace Corp, Americorp, and VISTA; while struggling to fight off  bankruptcy. (more…)

This chapter explores life in two separate ghettos where I have lived. It highlights the American history of ghetto slums and explains why African-Americans are crowded into them. As a side note, I try to compare cultural differences between white and black poverty. This includes my father’s background with racial violence in Los Angelos. (more…)

This chapter explores how homeless people in Oakland and Berkeley can find food at various soup kitchens and food lines. It follows the food loop that many people travel each day just to eat without any money. (more…)

This chapter explores homeless shelters, drug addiction, mental illness, and the difficulty in getting off the streets. It also explores some of the flaws that I experienced while working as a VISTA/Americorp volunteer. (more…)

This chapter explores my time as a teacher in an adult school for homeless and illiterate Americans. Many people are stuck on the streets because they lack basic skills such as filling out an application form. My focus is on what motivates people to learn despite their poverty, and the inter-personal clashes that arise from this classroom exchange. The issue of white surpremacy is a strong theme in this chapter, especially as a student was drawing me into this mind frame.

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This chapter looks at my struggle to remain a pacifist. It was inspired by actual dialogue with African-American martial arts experts. It includes discussion about the politics of tracking down one’s ethnic heritage and “white” identity. (more…)

This surrealistic chapter is based on true events that happened over a single weekend. It looks at the “race” of poverty. It studies how different races respond to economic hardships and the personal theories that individuals develop to cope. (more…)

Every now and then something happens that overturns your life as you know it.  My time as a Vista/Americorp volunteer ended abruptly with the death of my father. For awhile, I relapsed into a homeless lifestyle and went wandering around the United States. During this time, I documented the situation at homeless shelters in various US states and attempted to explain the different tactics used to help the homeless. (more…)

Life can be an endless battle between freedom and restriction. While working as a case manager for homeless people, I struggled to develop a mind frame that could lift me out of poverty. On one hand, I was trapped by eternal debt repayment with interest. On the other hand, this line of work was triggering a relapse into the impoverished lifestyle. The pangs of risky freedom struck again. (more…)

In 1998, I finally fled the United States and lived in exile in Hungary. The Iron curtain had fallen, and Hungarians were struggling with inflation as they adapted to a capitalist economy. The atmosphere had an exciting feel of change to it.  I also felt the spirit of change and wondered if I could settle down despite my past poverty. How was my poverty different than theirs? Could Hungary offer me an anchor to grow new roots? (more…)

This chapter looks at a period when I taught English in South Korea. For the first time in my life, I was able to save money and dream of a future. I wondered what hope could I offer Korean children for a better future. At the same time,  Koreans’ anger against Americans was rapidly increasing due to actions near the US military base in Seoul — and, once again, ghosts from an American past return for a haunting. (more…)

This chapter takes place in Thailand, where I had created a sense of stability for awhile. It makes cross-cultural comparisons with how different cultures respond to poverty. However, the primary focus is placed on the politics of being an American living abroad shortly after the 9-11 crisis. As a seasonal flood begins to destroy my home, I pull out my father’s flag and ask what it still means to me. (more…)

This chapter examines peaceful protest movements and  the effectiveness of violence. As the Iraq War begins and billions are spent on military actions abroad, the recession has led to sharply rising unemployment. During a Seattle-based protest, I asked myself if I am willing to accept violence if it leads to social change. (more…)

This chapter looks at the concept of “Trailer Trash”, the history of motor vehicle homes, and the phenomenon of American ghost towns. How did this form of affordable housing lead to such negative stereotypes? Why did so many towns in the West go bankrupt and shut down? In quest for an answer, I physically move to several ghosts towns before settling down in an isolated Wyoming countryside. (more…)

This chapter focuses on survivalist instincts that arise within rural poverty. Sometimes the education that is most vital does not come from school or books, but in the knowledge of nature and how to use it. This chapter describes the process of adapting to natural hardships in remote locations, as well as learning new skills such as pumping water so that I could construct a garden out of piles of trash. (more…)

This chapter studies the nature of boom and bust economies and how rural people survive economic crisis.  In addition, it looks at how rebellious groups have tried to create temporary utopias that counteract the capitalist system — and the backlash and fear directed at those who are unwilling to conform. (more…)

This chapter represents the catharsis that can explosively ignite after years of poverty, frustration, and anger. Armed with a loaded shotgun,  an American flag, and volumes of potent moonshine;  I celebrated my 40th birthday on an isolated Wyoming ranch. Feeding the flames of an arson-induced fire, and wondering if I should add my American flag, I attempt to understand what responsibilities an indigent homeless man still owes to greater US society.

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This is the final chapter of Lifting Fire. Poverty can lead you in many different directions. This chapter looks at some of the choices we can make and the possible outcomes. (more…)

This appendix shows the story hidden underneath the central story. There are so many amazing lives that have shaped history that we never hear about. Small and unimportant people are easy to forget, but they can also have powerful tales to learn from. (more…)

 This is the list of my resources and other info.

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